Disappointment

Hebrews 3:7-8a So, as the Holy Spirit says: “Today, if you hear his voice, do not harden your hearts…

Have you ever been disappointed in someone’s behavior? Or perhaps even disappointed in your own behavior! I know I have, on both accounts. So what do we do with that feeling of disappointment? How do we get through it and over it?

Recently I tried to schedule an appointment with someone to share a meal out together, my treat. The emails took several days for a response, the responses were non-committal, and when commitment was made, it was changed. And then when the date and time came, a show. Then a “I have it on my calendar for next week” response.

I feel disappointed in him. But then I second guess myself. Maybe I wasn’t clear enough in my communication with him. Maybe I wasn’t specific enough about the date and time. Maybe the face to face communication wasn’t clear. Maybe I took my clarity for granted. Maybe I am thinking too much about this!

I want to believe the best about him. I don’t want to harden my heart and pull back. But how do I do that? Disappointment hurts.

Our text tells us about the moment in Israel’s history when a prophet of Hebrew Scriptures challenged his generation to learn from the past not repeat the past. It can be so easy to repeat the past, can’t it. We just do what our parents did, the way the did it.

And if we get married, we realize that not everyone did everything the same way. Israel had not listened to the LORD’s clear instructions following the Exodus from Egypt. They had made a calf and worshiped it, just as Moses was up on the mountain again, receiving the Law written in stone by the finger of God. And the first law was to not worship other gods!

The Israelites had seen the LORD’s hand move, but they didn’t let it affect their hearts. They were unchanged. They had left Egypt, but Egypt had not left them. They hardened their hearts against the LORD’s call.

But there is a solution offered by the text of Scripture. Just five verses later these words are written: “But encourage one another daily.” The act of encouraging can help defuse the rebellion and hardening that disappointment brings.

But encouraging the person who has disappointed you is very difficult. What is there to encourage them about when their failure is what has led to your discouragement. The question is this: Are they a failure at everything in life? Can you see some area where they are succeeding?

It can be easy to sit in disappointment, to believe only the worst about that other person. But that is sin. It is judgmental and shortsighted. I need to give grace, just as I have received grace.