1 Thessalonians 2:11-12 For you know that we dealt with each of you as a father deals with his own children, 12 encouraging, comforting and urging you to live lives worthy of God, who calls you into his kingdom and glory.
In some communities in this country, there are very few fathers who are present with their children. They are absent from their children’s lives. They have no positive influence on the next generation.
There are also many households where the father’s influence is so downplayed or impotent that the picture of a dad and husband is so powerless that there might as well not be any father present. Our culture has not done a good job of correctly balancing the influence of moms and dads on the positive outcomes for children. They have become one more casualty in the cultural war against families.
Many people growing up just don’t know what fathers are supposed to be doing. Their picture of fathers is so tepid that it often has a negative effect rather than a positive one on the lives of the children. What a shame such a powerful influence gets wasted.
Paul, as he is writing about his own influence in the lives of the believers in the city of Thessalonica, uses the picture of a father to illustrate his own influence on them. He points out three areas that he acted like a father with his children. These three can serve as the start of a model of parenting for fathers who lack a model themselves.
The first thing good fathers do is encourage. They find ways to build up the child’s own courage, something very much needed as the child enters a hostile world. Kids need courage to face the onslaught of influences that oppose the Gospel and good conduct. And it must be courage that rises within themselves. This is the courage fathers are supposed to instill and then help grow in they children.
The next area that fathers need to be working on in their relationships with their children is the area of comfort. We often think of moms as being the better comforters. They are the ones with the bandaids and kisses that bring healing to the scraped knee and hands.
Fathers need to hug their kids, not the kind of wrestling hug, which has its place in the fathering process, but the loving, life would never be the same without you kind of hug. It is a hold on for dear life because you are precious to me kind of hug. A fathers strength brings a different dimension to this kind of hug that mothers don’t bring to the same degree.
The third input from fathers that kids need is the urging that fathers bring to a child’s spiritual development. Many children have a strong longing to be accepted by their fathers. They want to know that their conduct is pleasing to him, that they are succeeding in his eyes.
This implies that the father is living a life worthy of God. Ouch! Fathers can’t lead children to a place they themselves have not traveled and stayed. Fathers can be the trailblazers for their children.
Now Paul is using this father metaphor to show how he was a leader to this group of new believers. The recipients of this letter could remember back to Paul’s influence in their lives. He was this kind of spiritual father to them, and they knew it. So in using this metaphor of fatherhood, Paul is validating this picture of fatherhood for them as fathers as well.
This is because you don’t use a manufactured image when you are trying to make a point. You use an image that they already possess in order to connect with the audience at a deeper level. You go from known to unknown, not unknown to unknown. Paul’s use of father shows that not only did Paul act like a father in this way, but the recipients already had this picture of a good father in their own understanding of fatherhood.
The Arnold Journey 