Romans 12:18 If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.
Are there still people in your life who rub you the wrong way? I say “still” because there is a tendency to allow those connections to atrophy by neglect. We don’t like the discomfort, so we withdraw from them in an effort to eliminate the rub.
And I don’t blame you for allowing that connection with the other person to die by neglect. We are supposed to live a happy life, right? Life is supposed to be smooth sailing, once we become a Christian. There isn’t supposed to be any disturbance in the air as we fly through life. Right?
But this ins’t the picture of the Christian life that is portrayed in the New Testament and lived out by the Faithful down through the centuries. This is a Western view, primarily exported by the US church. It isn’t part of New Testament reality.
Two words from out text today help highlight how we should handle those with whom we just can’t get along. The first has to do with possibility. Some relationships can’t be maintained because of distance, safety or other things that prevent the connection from surviving. Some are so toxic that separation is the only way to survive.
But some of these relationships are possible to maintain. It will take some extra effort to do so, but maybe that effort will one day yield a profit. Someday there will be the fruit of righteousness that will grow from the fertile soil.
But by the same token, some relationship are best when they are severed. Some relationships are unsafe. How do we tell the difference between those that we should let die and those we should maintain, that is a complicated and very individual determination made with the guidance of the Holy Spirit.
The second word is the “depends” in our text. We have control over some of the relationships into which we have entered. We can control the degree of engagement and intrusion. We are the gatekeepers of these relationships. We are able to keep them from overwhelming us.
We have a say in how relationships grow and flourish. We can’t necessarily control the outcome, but we can be peaceful in the process. We don’t have to stir up the controversy.
Paul wants us to take responsibility for our side of the relationship. If it is possible, with the side that we control, peace should be the ruling factor. Peace is one of the hallmarks of the Christian life. Peace is one of the fruit we are supposed to be cultivating. The Holy Spirit plants the peace, and we clean up the environment to give room for that peace to flourish.
But maintaining peace can be a challenge when the other person walks around with a gas can and match! That is why this text tells us there are limits. We can only work on our side of this equation. We have little to no control over the other side.
This chapter has spoken about how the grace of God works out in people’s lives and relationships. It is the working out of peaceful living. It is allowing and cultivating the Holy Spirit in our lives. We are very different people with very different manifestations of the Holy Spirit. We are a body with its many parts.
Our jobs in the body may differ, but we can do our part to maintain peace. Even when evil is present and at work, we can humbly see where the LORD IS working and move in that direction.
The Arnold Journey 