Mark 6:25 At once the girl hurried in to the king with the request: “I want you to give me right now the head of John the Baptist on a platter.”
Many parents wonder if they have messed up their kids by the way they parented, or if they will need therapy later in life. This is one of the biggest fears that parents, who come to see me as a Marriage and Family Therapist, bring in regards to their children and the choices the parents are making. Parenting is hard!
And for almost all those parents I felt they had done the best they could to raise their children. But, that being said, I have had many clients over the years whose parents did a terrible job of protecting their children. Some parents even abused their children.
How we parent does make a big impact on our children. Some parents are so broken themselves, that even their best efforts fall short of good parenting. If only there could have been intervention earlier rather than later. But we would have to go back to the Garden in order to get humanity to parent correctly.
We have an example of terrible parenting in our text today. King Herod and his wife are in a disagreement about the treatment of one of Herod’s prisoners, John the Baptist. John, being a prophet of God, has condemned the couple for their adulterous marriage. The king is more afraid of John that his wife is. She just wants him dead.
And so the King, while having a party and probably too much to drink, has his step-daughter come and dance for his assembled crowd. Now Herod is not a man with much moral fiber. His family is known for decadence and crossing the moral lines. And this moment is no exception.
If I were writing the screenplay for this moment, I would have Herod’s eyes tracking every sensual move the girl was making. He would be clapping in delight, moving every closer to the seat of his chair. Some of the assembled guests would be noticing his behavior and thinking, “He is embarrassing himself,” but the rest would be joining in with him in his lustful pursuits. And the young girl would be oblivious to his or his guests reactions. She was just having fun dancing.
I know this isn’t in the text, but that is how I imagine it. She did “please” these leading members of this community and the military leaders. Maybe she was a really talented dancer. But then Herod’s power goes to his head.
It is at this moment that step-parenting deficits show their ugly head. This isn’t his daughter. If it weren’t Herod, I would say no parent would ever act like this with his own daughter. But Herod is no ordinary pervert. He is a pervert with power.
“I’ll give you up to half of my kingdom” is the impulsive reply. I bet this young girl was very taken aback with this promise of generosity. She might have asked for a convertible, or a new iPad. She has to consult her mother. And now the mother has the perfect leverage to get what she wants: John’s head!
Imagine being this young girl and being placed right in the middle of this parental dispute, and you being the one who had to ferry the results, the had on a platter. Talk about needing therapy in later life! I wonder what ever became of her?
So despite Herod realizing the mistake he has made in the promise, the dinner guests, all the leading people in that part of the world, put pressure on Herod and Herod must keep his word. He has to swallow the bitter pill and let his wife win this round. She gets John’s head.
And the innocent girl must carry the head between step-father and mother. She gets triangulated. She gets stuck in the middle of a parental disagreement. Mom uses her to get what she couldn’t get herself. Bad mom. Bad dad.
The Arnold Journey 