John 21:17 The third time he said to him, “Simon son of John, do you love me?” Peter was hurt because Jesus asked him the third time, “Do you love me?” He said, “Lord, you know all things; you know that I love you.”
Have you ever sat through a really awkward moment between two other people? Maybe an argument got out of control in public, and they suddenly realize they are making a scene. And now they sit across from each other in awkward silence trying to figure out a way to back out of the situation with their dignity intact.
Or a child has been disciplined in public in a way that the observers see as out of the norm. Perhaps a public spank, or a harsh rebuke takes place right in the aisle in WalMart as carts whiz by and shoppers awkwardly grab for items around the ongoing scene. By now the child is on the floor throwing a very public fit. And then the announcement comes “Tantrum in Aisle Seven.”
Or maybe it was a more personal betrayal, an affair, a hidden purchase, a break in trust. How do we come back from these moments and have the relationship restored? How do we know when the repentance is sincere and will result in a change in behavior?
There is no easy formula spelled out in Scripture for these moments. Step One, Step Two, etc. But we do see some examples of reconciliation moments played out in people’s lives. We have one of these moments in our text today.
This is the scene. Jesus has risen from the dead and has appeared twice to the disciples as a group. But the disciples still have not fully understood what they are to do now and they have not been filled with the Holy Spirit, so the power to carry it out is not yet present.
Seven of the disciples decide to go fishing, for some a return to their former occupations. I have never personally understood the allure of fishing. And they fished all night long without catching anything. That has been my experience with fishing, catching nothing.
And then something unexpected happens. Jesus is there and calls from the shore, and they obey and catch a miraculous catch of fish, 153 large fish! If only I had that kind of experience when fishing, That would be fun!
They end up eating some fish with Jesus on the shore. But Jesus is there with at least one important task. He must secure Peter’s place in the Kingdom. After Peter’s triple denial, he needs a triple reconciliation. So Jesus provide Peter that opportunity.
Forgiveness and reconciliation require that there be an acknowledgement of the sin and the pain the sin caused. We know this instinctively, if we have every had someone give us a glib “I’m sorry.” There are usually, really, “I’m sorry I got caught.”
Notice in our text that Peter was hurt when Jesus asked the third time about his love for Jesus. Three denials, three opportunities to reaffirm his love. But it caused pain. He was hurt.
Having to face the object of Peter’s denial, Jesus, Peter now has the opportunity to repent. The specific sin of triple denial is given an opportunity for triple confession and reconciliation. And Peter needs to feel the pain of this denial, and the pain of his pride.
We often need to experience the pain that our actions have caused others in order for them to begin their road to forgiveness. Too often forgiveness is just a perfunctory action without any depth. Jesus ensures that Peter’s repentance is as deep as his soul. He has to face Jesus, hear Him bring up his sin three times, and then have to answer.
Pain is a good thing, if it leads to repentance and reconciliation. Pain for pain sake accomplishes little. But pain with reconciliation is priceless.
The Arnold Journey 