Matthew 18:35 “This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother or sister from your heart.”
Words can be easy to say. Just ask any six year old who is being trained to think of their younger sibling before they act. The older will rapidly learn that to get the situation finished all they have to do is say, “I’m sorry,” and then the parents intervention will end and they can get back to playing. A “hug” might be thrown in for good measure, even though it lacks enthusiasm.
Words can be easy to say. “Will you help me with…” is often responded to with a “Sure thing!” But when in comes time for the help to materialize, it isn’t doesn’t come.
And in those moments, the intent and attitude of our hearts toward the LORD and toward each other escapes. Wee have worked hard to hide and and contain the outbursts, but when our words have to meet our actions, that is where the truth comes out about what is in our heart. We can’t help but tell four story.
Jesus tells a story to his disciples, and especially to Peter who comes with a question on the limits of forgiveness. He wants to know how many times he should forgive someone. His thinking is that there a magic number beyond which I won’t have to forgive. He believes he can do the forgiveness thing a certain number of times, but then he will hit his limit.
I know I have worked with people who tested my number. I have forgiven them, but they continue to bring havoc wherever they go. And I know forgiveness is not forgetting. Forgiveness includes not holding against someone something that is in the past right now in the present moment. It is letting the past stay in the past.
But if you have been run over by a bull, you don’t have to keep getting back in the arena. You can choose to stay in the stands or even not show up for the rodeo. You can choose to not put yourself in a vulnerable position again.
Jesus points out that forgiveness must be from the heart, from our deepest core. Forgiveness is not something that is painted on the outside. It isn’t a matter of tears and sorrow in the moment. Forgiveness has to do with the actions that follow. Is there a change in behavior in the one forgiven.
The illustrative story that Jesus tells is about a man who had an unpayable debt. That debt is forgiven by the one who whom the debt is owed. By the way, that is the only person who can forgive. The one harmed must be the one forgiving.
And after the debt is paid, the man’s heart attitude is made clear. He is unwilling to forgive a very small debt he is owed. He has misunderstood the meaning of forgiveness.
If we aren’t willing to forgive others, then we don’t understand the nature of the forgiveness we ourselves have received. And that leads to a multitude of problems. Our own forgiveness is in jeopardy. Jesus makes that connection.
So the next time there is a moment of forgiveness offering or forgiveness receiving, mark well the attitude of your heart. Given and received both say something about our hearts. But what happens after that in the future exchanges around forgiveness says even more.
Forgiveness is hard. Forgiveness takes time and effort. And your heart attitude toward the LORD and toward others is the key to whether forgiveness is real or only empty words.
The Arnold Journey 