Suicide?

1 Chronicles 10:4 Saul said to his armor-bearer, “Draw your sword and run me through, or these uncircumcised fellows will come and abuse me.” But his armor-bearer was terrified and would not do it; so Saul took his own sword and fell on it.

One of the most difficult events in life to deal with is suicide. There are no easy answers, only a multiplicity of questions. And the questions can be overwhelming and unrelenting. It can feel as though they will never stop, never be answered, never come to resolution.

I often frame suicide like this: the person ran out of options. Life’s struggles were so great and their resources so limited, that suicide was the only option left on the table. Their world closed in on them and the only way out was death, immediate and swift.

But those of us left behind have so many questions. “Why didn’t they come to me for help,” probably tops the list. But there are fewer answers than questions, and the answers never seem to satisfy the questions.

In our text today, the chronicler is summarizing the important points in Israel’s history as a nation. He has just finished the whirlwind tour of the genealogies leading to this point in history. I hope those lists of names didn’t bog you down in your reading!

So we have come to the character Saul. He seemed to be the perfect human choice for a king. He fit all the criteria. he checked all the boxes. But the LORD never wanted there to be a human king over Israel. He was already their king. Why would they need two kings?

And Saul is a terrible king, selfish, self-centered, stubborn, vindictive, jealous, murderous and pig-headed. And this is just a partial list.

He is in a battle against Israel’s enemies and he is wounded. He must know that he won’t make it out alive, so he asks his warrior assistant to kill him so that the enemy won’t get the satisfaction and opportunity to boast about his death. But his assistant won’t do is, so he does it himself.

He was right to think the enemy would misuse him. Even after his death they use his head and his armor as war trophies. You can only imagine what they would have done with him alive. Indignities!

So why didn’t the LORD come to Saul’s rescue? This is pretty easy to answer. Saul never came close to the ideal that the LORD set for those who would lead His people. And because Saul refused to repent and live properly as an image-bearer of the LORD, the LORD set out to punish Saul.

Saul was so out of relationship with the LORD that at a key moment when guidance was needed, Saul consulted a cult fortune teller for advice. Saul could have talked to the LORD, but that would have required repentance, something Saul was not willing to do.

Saul serves as a contrast between the ungodly leader, bent on his own destruction, and that of David, who continually sought the LORD’s favor. Saul had stopped growing in his relationship with the LORD and David continued to grow throughout his whole life.

Was Saul’s death a suicide? Yes and no. Yes he did take his own life. He placed the sword and fell onto it. But he also recognized the negative effect on his reputation and perhaps even on Israel’s future security if the Philistines gained the upper edge in the propaganda war. His death spared the triumphant cries of the enemy when they caught him alive.

The biggest lesson is this: our choices make a difference in our future, here on earth and in eternity. Make your choices wisely, in light of the LORD’s will and the betterment of His people.