Hate is a serious thing. It leads to all sorts of awful outcomes if it is allowed to fester and if it is given power to act. When hatred is fanned into flame it can destroy nations. Hatred can be fanned for generations and become part of a culture. The “One Percent” hatred that was fanned into flame prior to the last election is just as harmful as any hatred for gays, blacks, Hispanics, Asians, the homeless, Veterans, men, women, the projects, the suburbs, the rich, Jews, Muslims, Christians, drug addict, convict or any other way we might slice up society and place blame. Hatred is hatred. There is no such thing as a good hatred when the object of that hatred is another human being.
It is impossible to hate someone and bring the Gospel to them. You can’t wrap the Gospel in hate. They are incompatible with each other.
But John goes one step further. It is one thing to hate someone outside of the family of faith, but something very different when it is inside the family. Neither is acceptable. We all understand the difference between hating a neighbor who shot your family dog out of anger and your brother or sister who did the same thing. Hating family would bring many encouragements to work through it and forgive. It is family, after all. Anger toward the neighbor might even be encouraged.
John tells us that hatred and murder are on the same trajectory. Anger is also on that same line. We can’t hold onto anger or hatred for long. If it stays with you, it can drive you to murder. We must use the energy of anger and hatred in a constructive manner. We can’t let it fester and foment.
If we keep hating someone who is a fellow Jesus-follower, we are in trouble. Eternal life is incompatible with hatred. Jesus told us that there is a connection between anger and murder, and if we are angry with each other we are guilty of murder. John reinforces that connection because the enemies of the Cross are propagating hatred among fellow believers. The outsiders might hate us, but we can’t remain in hate toward each other.
So what do we do with anger toward a fellow believer? How do we take care of it so that it doesn’t remain and fester? First we need to confront the situation. Deal with the source of the anger. Bring in a third party to help keep the discussion headed in a healing direction. Most of these hurts can be healed through an honest discussion and forgiveness. It may take several meetings to bring healing, but it can come.
Secondly, prayer, worship and Scripture can prepare your hearts for the resolution. Even if the injury was done on purpose, healing can still happen. This isn’t letting go of things. This is finding and giving forgiveness. It is godly sorrow that leads to repentance. This is restoration of fellowship with each other and with the LORD.
The Arnold Journey 