We are not a patient creature. We don’t like to wait. And yet our society is created in such a way that waiting is an inevitable part of life. Even fast food isn’t fast anymore. It used to be that burger joints would have a stock of sandwiches already made on the shelf waiting for customers to come and get them. But because of the narrowing profit margins, we now have to wait for them to steam heat our burger and put on the toppings. So we wait.
I haven’t walked into a branch of my bank in years. As I remember, I think it has only been twice in the last fifteen years or so. It is all done online. No waiting. And now with the phone App, I don’t even have to mail in my deposits. No waiting. I don’t need to be patient!
Our Psalm begins with the impatient cry of our writer, “How long?” Four times he repeats this phrase in the first two verses. He feels the LORD has forgotten about him, that he has been rejected. It is one thing to be rejected and forgotten about as a friend or child, it is another thing to feel forgotten about by the LORD. Human beings can and will let you down, but to feel let down by the LORD carries an extra punch.
But our writer also struggles with an inner battle, the battle of his thoughts. He is in a downward spiral that started with grief. He is in a tailspin and he can’t seem to pull hard enough on the controls to bring his life beck to level. When emotions feel out of control and you can’t take control of your thoughts, it can be a very helpless feeling. And after a while it can feel like you are losing the battle. If I can’t pull myself out of this, what good am I to those around me?
The final object of our writer’s impatient cry is his enemy. We don’t know if it was a physical enemy or spiritual enemy. All we know is that the writer felt like he had been in the battle too long, that too many of his resources had been expended in the battle. He feels like the enemy has triumphed, won the battle. He is afraid the enemy might win the war.
He asks for the LORD’s intervention. He wants the LORD to answer his prayer, his cry for help. He wants to be rescued or the enemy will get the victory. He needs an infusion of life, or he feels like he will die.
And even in this very empty state, our writer trusts in the LORD. There is a faith that bridges the gap between where he is and where he needs to be. He remembers the LORD’s faithfulness in the past, and trusts that the LORD will continue to be faithful to him, even though at the present moment he doesn’t feel it or see it.
I think the big problem is that our lives don’t have much margin, much white space on the pages of our lives. We pack our lives so full of stuff that when unexpected things happen, they push us off schedule. And when we get pushed off schedule by events that send us into a tailspin, we don’t have the space to recover. We need time to just sit and think, pray and praise. We need time to cry and grieve. We need margins to make notes on what the LORD is doing in our lives. We need margins to write down the victories. We need margins to note the struggles and the answers to prayers.
What are you going to give up in order to build margins into your life’s story?
The Arnold Journey 