When does self-interest cross the line into selfishness, or even worse malice toward others? This can be a hard line to define. These are two very powerful drives at work pulling us in opposite directions. So how can we know if the choices we are making in the moment are motivated by Jesus-honoring attitudes?
On one end of this scale is self-protection. One of the most basic needs of human beings is to feel safe and secure. It is wired into us from the very beginning. Babies before they are born pick up clues from mom about their world. They know if they will have enough food, their bodies adapting to how calories are stored and used. If there was a famine during these nine months, years later the lessons learned in the womb can lead to diabetes.
Babies need safety and security after birth. The presence of mom and dad when they cry, bringing comfort and meeting their needs for a dry diaper, wire the brain in a way that allows for healthy adult relationships. When this basic security isn’t there, the baby having learned the lesson that I don’t matter, then as adults they won’t know what love looks and feels like.
These are two examples of the most basic safety and security needs. These are legitimate, God-given needs. We are wired to pull others to meet those needs and to respond to that pull by providing for them. At a hormonal level God designed us to be interdependent. We lean on each other and that leaning creates a connection that mirrors the intimacy of God Himself.
But we can also recognize when self-interest has turned into selfishness. We notice is first in toddlers. “Mine!” This is selfishness that is easily recognized, and it is at this point that selfishness needs to be trained out of a child. If you wait until they are elected to public office, it is too late!
I think the line between self-interest and selfishness gets crossed when other people fade from the equation. When we make choices without considering the effect our decision will have on other people, we are being selfish. Our choices do affect other people, even the small and seemingly insignificant ones. Other people should always be part of the equation.
The religious leaders weren’t thinking about others when they brought Jesus before Pilate. Jesus was a threat to their positions in society. He threatened their role in teaching the Scriptures. He had power that backed up what He taught about Himself and relationship with the LORD. All they could do was quote each other to prove their point.
And if Jesus wasn’t stopped, He would radically change the world as they knew it. And their positions would be eliminated forever. Their powerbase would be dissolved. They would end up on the scrapheap of history. And they couldn’t let that happen, not on their watch. They didn’t care what happened to Jesus. His welfare wasn’t even on their radar.
There isn’t a list of selfish acts that we can use to cross reference our actions. We must rely on the Scriptures, the Holy Spirit and godly counsel. We need space to wait and allow these three to speak to us before we make decisions. Create space in your life to allow these three to train you to be godly.
The Arnold Journey 