I remember when I was a kid hearing those in authority in my life tell be about the finger pointing used when I was trying to shift blame away from myself. They would say something like this. “Remember, when you point your finger at someone else you have four fingers pointing back at yourself.” To which I would give a smart-mouthed response, which was never well received, “Only three, my thumb is pointing forward also.” And when I say it was never received well, I mean NEVER!
Blame shifting really never works the way we want it to work. Even if we can convince others it wasn’t you, we still know the truth. This kind of lie works its damage on us. We pay a price for blame shifting. Kids learn to blame shift as soon as they have a sibling. If they are an only child, they are behind the power curve. By the time they get to school, everyone else will have perfected the art of blame shifting, and their rank amateur status will become obvious.
But kids aren’t the only ones who do this. When things are going south at work, not working out, and the heat is starting to be felt, blame is a wonderful tool. Point at the economy, the changing demographics, the competition, the delays in the supply chain, the workers, and the management. The secret is to point everywhere else. Never take responsibility for your part. It can’t be you, can it? You didn’t contribute to the problem, did you?
Marriages are a great place for the blame shifting game. When hurts happen, it is easier to point the finger, raise the voice, and point out the other’s faults. But it takes two for a marriage to fail, even if your part was very small. Blaming helps put off the pain, if only for a few moments. Anger is easy. Grief is painful.
Jesus tells His disciples that one of them is going to betray Him. This would have been the perfect opportunity to blame shift. Peter could have spoken up as the most impulsive in the group and blamed one of the more introverted disciples. Many of them could have pointed to Peter since he made an easy target. Jesus had, after all, told Peter, “get behind me, Satan” on one occasion. Others could have been singled out for their individual times of “not getting it.” There was plenty of blame to go around.
But amazingly, each disciple in turn points the finger at themselves. This is so unlike them. They are willing, in this moment of greatest vulnerability, to take responsibility. They can’t believe what Jesus is saying. How could any of them betray their close friend, this One who cared so much for them.
And yet, this is exactly what Jesus says will happen. One of them. This isn’t true! It wasn’t just Judas that betrayed Jesus. He might have taken the money and arranged the physical betrayal, but all the disciples fled. All of them turned their backs to one degree or another. None stayed rock solid.
The Arnold Journey 