The truths of this first proverb might seem obvious, but think about it. Honest people are honest. Liars lie. There is no middle ground. That is why we need to be honest. No one will know if you are telling the truth “this time” if you have lied. And lying really gets people in trouble.
One of the greatest hurts when affairs happen is the loss of trust. The offending spouse tends to lie about what happened. Then they come out with the truth a little bit at a time. This trickling of truth leaves the offended spouse constantly wondering what else is not being told. They looked the offender in the eyes and they lied, and they didn’t pick up on it. Maybe they are lying again.
These kinds of lies cut to the depths of a relationship. Instead of helping the process of healing, these words cut deeper. Often, the injury of the lie creates a moral blow. Many relationships never recover from the lie.
Being always honest has a healing effect. When words can be trusted it places our whole being into rest mode. We are safe when honest words are spoken. We don’t have to double think, or check behind us. Honesty heals. Honesty only gets better over time. Lies stink worse the longer they sit.
So what do you do if lying has become a way of life for you? If you start to tell the truth now, today, lots of people will be hurt. That is true, but eventually, if you continue to be honest, trust will be built, maybe for the first time. Most people know something is wrong when a liar is lying. Their gut tells them something. That is because very few people are perfect at lying. There are small cues that lying is happening. Remember the TV show Lie to Me? We do telegraph the truth.
Lying runs deep. It usually starts as a way to protect oneself from the consequences of an action. We get away with it, so we try it again, next time we are in trouble. If we don’t get caught in our lie, we are on our way to becoming a liar. And usually our lies will become larger over time, emboldened by the past experiences of “getting away with it.” There can even be a thrill, a physically good feeling when we don’t get caught. That feeling then drives the lying behavior. We don’t feel “normal” unless we lie. Telling the truth doesn’t “feel” right.
Remember, you be honest and tell lies. One lie makes you a liar. So….. be honest.
The Arnold Journey 