Adultery is worse than thievery. You can pay back what you stole. You can never pay back what was taken in adultery. That is the simple message of today’s verses. Adultery is an expensive hobby.
When a thief steals (vv30-31), what he steals is generally replaceable, or at least a value can be assigned to it. Even one-of-a-kind antiques can be valued. You can’t necessarily replace the sentimental value, the non-tangible portions, but you can buy something that will fit the same purpose. The Biblical punishment was to pay back seven times what the item was valued. Now that is incentive not to steal! You steal one iPad and you have to replace the one iPad with the value of seven iPads. Stealing is expensive.
But when you commit adultery there is no value that can be placed on what you have taken. In a culture that has reduced sexual intercourse to the accepted dating handshake, these words must be very hard to understand. We have reduced the consequence of these casual encounters to “tissue” that becomes a woman’s “choice” to deal with instead of a person made in the image of God. Wow, how far we have fallen!
Human sexuality is of the highest order, one of the most sacred acts in which a husband and wife can engage. So when someone, anyone degrades this act by committing adultery, there is no price that can be paid. There is no “do over” available. We have made what is sacred into something profane.
The last section of this chapter talked about hot coals in the man’s lap. That is nothing compared to the wrath of a husband. There is no payment you can give to the grieved spouse. Nothing will ever be enough. And the anger is justified! The spouse has given away something that was not theirs to surrender. The marriage bed belongs to both the husband and the wife. And only death can voice the contract!
Having walked with numerous couples working through the aftermath of an affair, there is nothing that strikes quite as deep as an affair. This even holds true with couples that didn’t wait until marriage to dip in the sexual pool. The expectation is exclusivity; no one gets what is rightfully mine. No one can share in the closeness and intimacy that intercourse can, but doesn’t always bring. There is no such thing as “just sex.” Sex is the whole ball of wax.
The Arnold Journey 