Instructions for marriage partners
Key Verses: 1, 3, 9, 10-11, 17, 32-34
It seems as though we are not the only ones who have questions about our faith. Is living together before marriage better than just getting married? Suppose we are not compatible sexually? With so many divorces, we should try it for a while, to see if it works out, right? But out questions come out of our contemporary culture. Their culture included a teaching that promoted celibacy above all other relationship models. Since Jesus was returning, so the teaching went, it doesn’t make sense to waste time and energy on physical pleasures like sex. Instead, we should be devoting everything to the cause of Christ, including our physical bodies.
Paul writes fairly plainly for his day, and for ours. When people get married, they no longer have the right to refuse sexual relations with their spouse. But the spouse cannot demand sex either. Love brings us together, and there is no mandatory denial of physical pleasure that is required by the urgency of the Gospel. This physical world and its pleasures are not automatically evil. We can’t throw the “God card” when we want to win an argument. “God told me …” does not automatically win the argument. Sex is not to be used as a weapon against our spouse.
Physical passions can be very strong pulls on our lives. If they pull too hard, they can pull us off track from the mission God has for our lives. If singleness is not the gift you have received from God, then get married without any guilt. But divorce just shouldn’t be an easy option. And remarriage is no option at all, according to Scripture. That does not mean that those of you who did remarry are automatically expelled from God’s family. There is forgiveness available. But divorce and remarriage are not part of God’s plan. There are certain circumstances where divorce is an option, but very few. I will leave this discussion for you and your local pastor. But incompatibility is probably not one of those circumstances. If they are willing to stay, then the believer should not divorce the spouse. If the unbeliever leaves, then the believer has no reason to live with guilt.
There is no need to keep the outward expressions of the old life. They can’t undo the physical signs of being Jewish, nor should they try to undo them. These signs don’t affect the eternal state of the person. In today’s culture, there is not “NEED” to remove tattoos of the old life; they don’t determine our eternal destiny, our relationship with Jesus does.
Being single back then was being pushed by certain teachers because they felt marriage detracted from the mission of God. Paul makes the case that either state is OK; there are advantages and disadvantages to each. Singleness allows for a greater focus on ministry to outsiders. Marriage divides our focus; we must be concerned about our spouse and family, as well as reaching the lost.
The Arnold Journey 