36 Oh, that Job might be tested to the utmost for answering like a wicked man!
With friends like this, who needs enemies! Here Job is, all his children died in a single day, and he lost all his business and all his wealth, and his wife tells him to curse God and die. As if that were not enough, he also has boils all over his body, popping, crusting, growing, itching, getting infected… and his ‘friend’ Elihu thinks he is not suffering enough! And according to Elihu, all his old friends feel the same way. They more Job’s friends have talked, the more Job is isolated and alone. We would probably say he is a prime candidate for suicide watch. So what is driving Elihu, and presumably his other friends to isolate Job in his suffering? I see it every day in my work, especially when someone dies. People are there in support for the first few weeks or months, but then they back away. They usually do it because they just don’t know what to say. Those who have lost then get excluded from the ‘couples’ events, and they don’t feel comfortable in the ‘singles’ scene. They want someone with whom they can share memories, but everyone seems to shut them out when they do. So then they don’t share and become full of unshared memories and events. Or when they do share, they become known as the person who can’t move on, stuck in the past. We might not blame the suffering for their circumstances, but we still isolate them because we are uncomfortable with their loss. We don’t know what to say, so we back away, as if saying something is what is needed. What people need is an ear. They don’t expect you to solve it, after all you can’t bring their loved one back from the dead. They just need to know that they are not alone. Job feels alone, and his friends are isolating him even more. Some friends!
The Arnold Journey 