14Come away, my lover, and be like a gazelle or like a young stag on the spice-laden mountains.
These concluding remarks by the wife to her husband are an invitation to him for intimacy. She wants him to be intimate with her. She has responded to his overtures, and is ready. He in turn has responded to her images with images of his own. This back and forth, give and take, builds excitement and connection. We might use popcorn and a movie, holding hands and glances of the eyes. We might write a note and leave it on the pillow, or bathroom mirror. Or make a favorite meal and wear something special. The important point is that we know the language of connection that our spouse speaks and that we respond in kind with them. We might not speak of a spice-laden mountain, but we must speak this language of connection. Maybe we talk about the books being read, or the movies watched, something that builds common experience. Sex is not enough to sustain a relationship, the divorce rate proves that. We are more sexed than almost any group of people in the history of the world. If sex were the solution, we would be the most satisfied of all peoples. But instead, we are some of the most dissatisfied. When passions get aroused outside of the marriage bond, they can be, and often are, the tornado that tears apart relationships and society at large.
The Arnold Journey 