6I opened for my lover, but my lover had left; he was gone. My heart sank at his departure. I looked for him but did not find him. I called him but he did not answer.
What do you do when someone criticizes your spouse? Do you jump on the band wagon and let all your feelings come pouring out? This is one of those keys to a long relationship. We have to control our reactions to a lack of information. This bride has to control her reaction to her husband not showing up when he was expected. The beginning verses appear to be the recounting of a dream, a dream in which she sees her husband at her door, wanting to come in and be with her. But she awakes from the dream only to find no one at the door. She searches for him and gets mugged, at least that is how I read these verses. Then her friends come. She could talk of all her disappointment, but instead she shares her longing and of her positive opinions of her husband. What a contrast to what usually happens when spouses get together and talk about their partners! Usually they degrade into a “my spouse is worse than your spouse” bashing party. Can you imagine if we got together and shared the positive attributes, uplifting our spouses instead of tearing them down? It might change your attitude and your marriage. This wife in our text has a longing for her husband that is more than sexual, because her relationship with her husband is more than a sexual one. Her connection is more than sexual. She is connected, even though he is not there. That connection can be hard to live with. Many people, especially soldier spouses, learn to not connect, because to really connect would be too painful, because the long separations and possible death. The longings can drive you nuts! So we don’t really connect or reconnect.
The Arnold Journey 