43Then the men of Israel answered the men of Judah, “We have ten shares in the king; so we have a greater claim on David than you have. Why then do you treat us with contempt? Weren’t we the first to speak of bringing back our king?” But the men of Judah pressed their claims even more forcefully than the men of Israel.
Jealousy and envy can cause great troubles for any people. These two sides of the previous battles are trying to figure out how to reconcile, and it is a hard process. I notice it in couples when they have been fighting. Because of the hurt, neither side wants to compromise. To do so, would be declaring defeat, and that is not an acceptable position! I often counsel couples to not try to resolve all the differences until they have reestablished a safe place between them. If there is no safety, then the possibility of further injury is almost assured. One misspoken word sets off a cascade of hurt and pain. It can be very difficult to hear correctly the intent of words when emotions are high. Often emotions may not be expressed on the outside, but instead are bubbling and brewing on the inside. Then, “all of a sudden” they burst forth, seemingly out of nowhere. In our text we hear the two sides battling for their right to be included in this new kingdom. Each has legitimate claims, but neither hears the other’s claims. There is still too much hurt and resentment. These have to quiet down before reconciliation can take place.
The Arnold Journey 