28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.
In this familiar passage about marriage relationships, Paul tells the husbands two times that they are to love their wives. The first time he does he follows it with the illustration of Christ loving the Church, giving Himself up for it. He starts this verse saying that we should love our wives “in this same way.” Then he says we should love them as our own bodies. I have heard so many sermons over the years that put the emphasis on marriage relationships on the wife submitting. But Paul puts the emphasis on husbands loving. If a husband loves, his wife will have no problems submitting. What is really funny is that the word “submit” is not even in the verse about wives! It is in the previous verse about submitting to each other. The verb is implied. But for the husbands, the word “love” is specifically stated in both verses. The job of the husband is to love; love as Christ loved and love as we love our own bodies. And then he tacks on a third way husbands are to love. When we love our wives we are really loving ourselves. Oh, how I wish we could hear this preached! The great responsibility in marriage is on the husband, not the wife. I think the failure of marriage comes down to these few verses. Husbands have failed to love their wives. They have loved their careers, their hobbies, their freedom, and their toys, but have failed to love their wives. We have given priority to everything else, but have failed to put our wives on the top of the list. If we were to care about our wives the way Christ cares, then our marriages would not fail. What woman would not want to stay with a man who loves this intently? She would be a fool to give this up. Her needs would be met in her marriage relationship and she would not look elsewhere. The same is true for the husband. Guys, let’s get this right!
The Arnold Journey 