21 Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.
So often we hear one side of the submission story in marriage. Wives are supposed to submit to their husbands. But right before that truth is this truth: we both submit to each other. If only couples would understand this today. There has to be a bending of the wills by each partner in order for marriage to work. Each must love the other enough to give up some of their own selfish desires. But, so many say that they don’t want to give up anything of their own. They want to be able to do what they want to do when they want to do it. They think that if they give something up, then marriage is not worth it. They want to act single: no ties, no responsibilities, not obligations. But life is about ties, responsibilities and obligations. Being an adult means giving up things. But for each of the things we give up, we gain so much more. The flip side of wives submitting is for husbands to love their wives like Jesus loved us. Jesus loved us without limit. He was willing to give everything up for us. That is the way husbands submit. When they love so much they give up their own lives, their own desires, their own will, then marriage becomes the fulfilling relationship God meant it to be. Two people seeking to serve the other, to meet their needs. We are a stubborn, selfish generation. But humans have been selfish and sinful since the beginning. When a man loves his wife, he is submitting to her. That is what submission is all about. We love the other so much that we yield our will to theirs. Men choose to stay home rather than go drinking and clubbing with their friends. They choose to be with their wife during the 2AM feedings and diaper changes. In the short run, this is not nearly as exciting as a strip club, but the benefits will be so much greater. Women choose to not spend themselves into happiness, but listen to their husband’s limits. I know I am stereotyping, but you get the point. We each yield to the other. That is when love begins. And we do it without resentment or regret. We jump in with both feet and enjoy serving the other.
The Arnold Journey 