5 It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
If people in relationships could keep no record of wrong they would be much better for it. Love enables us to be able to not hold the past wrongs against people. Love enables us to forgive. Everyone is guilty of doing wrong in relationships. In fact, I think it is impossible to have a long-term intimate relationship without some hurt, some misunderstanding. They might be small or large, but those hurts still exist. The question is, what do we do with those wrongs? Do we always throw them in each others’ face? Are they the first response when an argument starts? Keeping no record does not me forgetting something occurred. We can’t erase our brains! So forgetting is not an option. Besides, memory of hurts can help us protect ourselves. We remember the pain of a burn so that we avoid hot objects. Pain can be a great teacher. But keeping a record, a mental list, is not helpful. Too often when one thing on the list gets mentioned, all the other things on the list inevitably get said as well. So a simple oversight becomes the beginning of World War III. And World War III looks very much like the previous wars with many of the same battles. So how do we destroy the records we have? I think we must bring them before the Lord, talk them through with the offending party, and then choose to not bring them up. It must be a choice to not bring up that previous record. Throwing it in someone’s face never helps. This can be a difficult process, especially when the offenses get repeatedly committed. But love doesn’t keep those records. It lets them go.
The Arnold Journey 