1Now a man of the house of Levi married a Levite woman,
Who you marry can make a big difference in your life. That is because much of our personality and character have already been formed by the time we get married. And changing personality is almost impossible, and character only gets changed over time as people consistently make different choices. Moses’ parents were both from the same family. They had a common ancestor. One of the factors that is good in choosing a spouse is for the families to know each other. In fact, if the families are part of the decision making process, that is even better. Families can provide a wisdom that lustful youth don’t yet possess. Relatives often have common values that help provide a stable foundation for a marriage. People who share similar stable backgrounds make more stable marriage partners. In times of turmoil, extended family used to provide the social support network needed to weather the storm. Today, our extended families are often much more loosely tied to each other than in previous generations. We have become more independent, and thus more vulnerable to isolation and loss. One of the tasks I encourage young couples to engage in is building bridges to their families, even if there is dysfunction present. Family can be a very positive addition, if it is restructured on new terms. The young couple can create healthy boundaries. They can stop the emotional storms of their families by being engaged, but not being sucked into the old emotional patterns. That engagement will change the old ways that the family related to the family members. Sometimes it is a healthy change, and sometimes not. But changes will happen. You can create a healthy environment for your children. You can break the family patterns, and start anew.
The Arnold Journey 