4 Yet I hold this against you: You have forsaken your first love. 5 Remember the height from which you have fallen! Repent and do the things you did at first.
Marriages so often go the way of the church at Ephesus. Unfortunately, couples follow this pattern: they leave behind their first love. Somewhere along the path that many relationships follow, there comes a point when one or the other turns away from their spouse. The most common is an emotional turning away. They stop maintaining that connection and support that they once demonstrated to each other. Other disconnections usually follow the emotional unplugging. Soon, someone else starts to fill that void, and the beginning of an affair is in the making. That is what happened to the church at Ephesus. They had slowly turned away from the centrality of Jesus. They got sidetracked. But John gives them the simple remedy to their situation, and that remedy works in a marriage as well. The first thing to do is to remember, remember the reasons you fell in love, the reasons you chose this person over other people. Take time to think and talk about those early days of the relationship. If couples can’t remember those days, those good things, that is a sign that they are in trouble. The same is true for our spiritual lives. If we are drifting, take time to remember the life we left and the turmoil of our soul that led us to call out to the Lord. There were reasons you sought the Lord. Remember those reasons. The next step is repentance. Turning away from the sin takes effort. There are ties that will need to be cut, rebuilding of trust, and lots of honest conversations about the broken feelings that your actions caused. You can get through it and come out on the other side with a stronger relationship. The third step is to do the things you did at first. Guys need to open those car doors, ladies need to fix their hair and makeup. The grumbling, retreating, cheap-shotting, bitterness and angry outbursts need to stop. You didn’t do them when you were trying to win your spouse, so don’t do them now. Go back to dating, try to win them again. Our spiritual lives need some revitalization at times. Do the things we did at first, the things like reading the Word, praying, getting together for fellowship, and memorizing Scripture. We are the ones who moved, so if we turn and return to the things that started and built the relationship, the relationship can return.
The Arnold Journey 