14 If anyone does not obey our instruction in this letter, take special note of him. Do not associate with him, in order that he may feel ashamed.
Shame can be a wonderful thing! Shame is one of the ways that God signals us that we are out of safe bounds, that we are treading in dangerous territory. When I was in Iraq I would see signs posted that warned of unexploded munitions or the possible presence of radioactive materials. Those signs were there to keep me safe from the dangers that were present in these places. They were not there to take away my freedom, but simply to protect me from known dangers. I could have felt anger at the presence of those signs. I could have doubted the level of care and concern the placers of the signs had for me. I could have reasoned that they wanted to keep me away from something very special, something I had been looking for my whole life, some treasure for which it was worth dying, but that wouldn’t make much sense. But I could have still allowed my thoughts to go that direction. Paul warns his readers about some individuals who did not accept the things he taught. These individuals could be detrimental to the spiritual health of the believers, so Paul warns them not to associate with them. He places a warning sign on them to protect the believers from their influence. Now these individuals would feel pushed away, separated from the friendship and support they once had. Paul hopes they will feel shame and that shame will drive them to accept the truth and return. It is that process of feeling the shame and then returning that makes shame a good thing. If we feel shame because of our sin and we repent, then shame has done a good thing. If we feel shame and cower never to return, shame has worked negatively in our lives. For the believer, shame can drive us into the loving arms of our forgiving and accepting Savior. So often shame does not work the way God designed it to work because we don’t have a secure relationship base from which to operate. We don’t have a stable, loving, accepting relationship with anyone. We don’t have a relationship with another person in which we know we are accepted no matter what we have done. If you feel shame, you need that type of relationship with God and with another human being in order to navigate the troubled waters of life.
The Arnold Journey 