20 I have no one else like him, who takes a genuine interest in your welfare.
What we need in life is a really good friend. Most of what makes counseling and therapy work is the relationship with a caring, connected person. We need someone who will listen to us and connect with us. We need to feel that they truly understand what we are feeling in a way that resonates with the deepest part of us. We need that connection. It is not enough to feel connected to God, we need to feel connected to other people. We need to feel God in flesh. That is also what makes a good pastor. When they get up to speak, they speak in a way that connects to where we are living, to our everyday lives, to our struggles and heartaches. When the eternal Word is made relevant to our real lives; that is what we want in a preacher. But we also want a pastor who is congruent, who is the same behind the pulpit as he is behind the dinner table. We want someone who struggles like us. We already have a Savior, we don’t need another one. We want someone who will tell it like it is when we are acting stupidly. We need straight talk when we are messing up. We need a ‘high five’ when things are going well. These characteristics are not just good for pastors, but also for friends. I think we too often withdraw from a friendship rather than confront. But if we are going to have a genuine interest in a friend’s welfare, we must be willing to lovingly confront and be lovingly confronted. If we genuinely care, we will speak up when someone is headed for a train wreck. This is also what makes a good spouse, employer, employee, business partner, and even politician. That is what I have found in my spouse and I hope that is what I provide for her. My children say I have been that way with them. My congregations have thanked me for being real with them. My job evaluations have said as much. But none of these really matters. What matters is God’s evaluation. I am still working so that one day I will hear “well done.” How about you?
The Arnold Journey 