12 We are not withholding our affection from you, but you are withholding yours from us.
Have you ever noticed that love is never 50/50 or even 100/100. Someone is always giving more that the other. There isn’t perfect giving of love. No mere mortal ever gives 100% either. We all hold back, save some in reserve, just in case. Or maybe we it out of hurt or revenge. “If only they knew how I felt, they would never hurt me like that again. I’ll show them!” And on goes the cycle of pain and destruction. Husbands and wives can use this type of manipulation with each other. Instead of meeting each other’s needs first, we hold back, hoping that mindreading course we all had in High School will finally kick in. But of course none of us had a mind reading course, and yet we still think the other person should “know” the unspoken need or hurt. Have you ever thought this, “If they loved me, they would know?” Let’s think of it this way instead. If you loved them, you would let them know. Love is not something you feel, it is something that is done. Love is action. The ultimate love involved the Creator of the Universe doing something about our mess. If we are honest with ourselves, we can all say that we do not live up to our potential, we all do less than we know we could, we fail to meet our own standards, we compare ourselves to others with the scale that makes us look better. Even Mother Theresa felt inadequate, even after all her selfless giving. When we come to realize the extent of God’s love for us and our inadequate response, we are humbled. You will almost never get the strokes you need from others. If earthly recognition is what you are after, you had better start a fan club and pay its members to say nice things about you. There are two realms that are important, truly important. The first is a self-assessment. Are you living 100% up to your potential and by your highest standards, God’s standards? The second is this: would God agree with your assessment? If you are lacking, you are like the Corinthian believers. Paul had poured into their lives and they were not returning the sacrifice. In what ways are you not living up to your potential or compromising God’s standards for your life?
The Arnold Journey 