20 All the brothers here send you greetings. Greet one another with a holy kiss.
I want to discuss a very practical issue today. That issue is how we greet each other physically. In our day one out of three women has been sexually abused during their lifetime. One out of three! My heart breaks as I consider this. And those women are sitting in our churches. For some, even an embrace, a frontal hug, can cause them to be uncomfortable, reminding them of the past abuse. So those doing the embracing must embrace in a way that does not become too invasive. We can take our cue from the woman offering the embrace as to the level of embrace. If they only offer a hand, offer them a hand. If a side embrace, then a side embrace. If a neck hug, a neck hug. I choose to hug those who offer a full hug in what I call a frontal shoulder embrace. I try as much as possible to only contact the other person with my upper body above the armpits. I avoid full-body embraces like the plague. I can express my connection, my genuine acceptance, without crossing the sexual line. Remember, personal space is a cultural issue. For some a handshake is too invasive. Unfortunately, there are those on both the giving and receiving side of hugs that enjoy the sexual side of these embraces. Paul says we are to greet with a holy kiss. This customary greeting was the greeting a family would give one another. It was a familial embrace. It demonstrated a kinship that went beyond genetics. There is a closeness expressed in different settings that must be respected. And the other side of that greeting is that it was holy. Does the way you greet others in church keep the relationship holy? Or does it cross the line into sexual playfulness? Remember, for one out of three women an embrace can have a very negative connotation. Let us be sensitive and respectful of these survivors.
The Arnold Journey 